wish list (running shoes, pressure cooker, triple aaa membership).. was a stripper pole. Okay, so I’m not a professional stripper or anything, but I have been taking pole dancing for quite some time and I wanted the luxury of doing it in the comfort of my own home. Well, wouldn’t you know, my husband swiftly obliged and opted to get me the pole over all else. Of course, he left no room for any element of surprise whatsoever. After initially reviewing my list, he returned to me, scratching his head and asked, “Uh, where do I get one of those poles-- Sports Authority?” Followed by, “How much are they, $39.99?” *sigh* I gotta love him.
Now, my birthday was back in March. And for weeks the long box had been laying across the floor in my bedroom, as INSTALLATION became an issue. Neither my husband nor I is very handy when it comes to toolboxes and ‘home improvement’ type things. Actually, that’s a monstrous understatement. We are like Paris and Nicole of the Simple Life at Home Depot. Last year, we called our handyman, Mike (God bless him), to see if he would come and install two plant hooks in our kitchen ceiling. Much to our surprise, he said no and kindly suggested that all we needed was a stud finder. A stud finder? I know I don’t have to tell you how this ignited the half-Italian side of my husband before he realized it was actually a tool. The good news is, we were, in fact, able to install the plant hooks on our own (albeit three hours and 90 extra holes in the ceiling later).
Getting back to my pole.. You can see the daunting task that lay before us when it arrived. I didn’t dare call Mike the Handyman nor any of our handy neighbors for that matter. “Uh, yeah, can you come over and help us install a pole in our bedroom?” I could just hear it now.. “Honey, how much longer ‘til we sell our house and get the heck outta here and far away from our whacked neighbors- those Wilsons?!”
So, on the floor my pole sat. It sat and it sat and it sat. (I’ve been reading way too much Dr. Seuss). Finally, last week, I made a decision. That pole is going up today if it kills me! What really killed me was that the instructions said it would take TEN MINUTES to install. Cripes. So I got the ladder. I got the stud finder. And I got the drill. Same deal as with the plant hooks, I just needed to locate the beam, mark it, and then drill the hole into it. Simple right? Well this is what I have determined: WE HAVE A DEFECTIVE STUD FINDER. There’s no other explanation. I may as well have closed my eyes and thrown a dart at the ceiling to find the stud, because that’s what I did with the drill and all the holes I made in the ceiling for two hours! But.. I did it—and the pole is now securely installed. Woo Hoo!!! Never a dull moment here at the house of Wilson. I must say, though, it is lovely.
Now, my birthday was back in March. And for weeks the long box had been laying across the floor in my bedroom, as INSTALLATION became an issue. Neither my husband nor I is very handy when it comes to toolboxes and ‘home improvement’ type things. Actually, that’s a monstrous understatement. We are like Paris and Nicole of the Simple Life at Home Depot. Last year, we called our handyman, Mike (God bless him), to see if he would come and install two plant hooks in our kitchen ceiling. Much to our surprise, he said no and kindly suggested that all we needed was a stud finder. A stud finder? I know I don’t have to tell you how this ignited the half-Italian side of my husband before he realized it was actually a tool. The good news is, we were, in fact, able to install the plant hooks on our own (albeit three hours and 90 extra holes in the ceiling later).
Getting back to my pole.. You can see the daunting task that lay before us when it arrived. I didn’t dare call Mike the Handyman nor any of our handy neighbors for that matter. “Uh, yeah, can you come over and help us install a pole in our bedroom?” I could just hear it now.. “Honey, how much longer ‘til we sell our house and get the heck outta here and far away from our whacked neighbors- those Wilsons?!”
So, on the floor my pole sat. It sat and it sat and it sat. (I’ve been reading way too much Dr. Seuss). Finally, last week, I made a decision. That pole is going up today if it kills me! What really killed me was that the instructions said it would take TEN MINUTES to install. Cripes. So I got the ladder. I got the stud finder. And I got the drill. Same deal as with the plant hooks, I just needed to locate the beam, mark it, and then drill the hole into it. Simple right? Well this is what I have determined: WE HAVE A DEFECTIVE STUD FINDER. There’s no other explanation. I may as well have closed my eyes and thrown a dart at the ceiling to find the stud, because that’s what I did with the drill and all the holes I made in the ceiling for two hours! But.. I did it—and the pole is now securely installed. Woo Hoo!!! Never a dull moment here at the house of Wilson. I must say, though, it is lovely.
Thank you ‘A’!!!!
By the way, if you're at all interested..
This is where 'A' got my pole: (not Sports Authority!)
2 comments:
I am so glad I am not alone in the quest to bust out the stripper in me! Ha ha! I love the fact you wanted a pole for your birthday present.
Pole dancing? As in Polish? Never knew Polish dancing would catch on here in the US...oh wait...
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